My First Blog Post

Hello, my name is Anna.  This is my first blog and I would like to introduce myself to the blogging world.  I have a variety of interests and my blogs will reflect some of those.  But what I’m most interested in is spiritual and personal growth to learn how to love myself, others and the world in a more healthy way: letting go and becoming the real person I was meant to be.

I’ve been semi-retired for about three years now.  It’s been an interesting time and some getting used to.  Going from 100 miles per hour to 5 was an adjustment to say the least.  I’ve worked steadily since I was in my early 30’s and now 65.  My highest aspiration in life was to be a housewife and raise a family.  I still think being a mother is one of the highest callings in life.  But life had other plans for me.  Sorry to say after 8 years, my marriage didn’t work out, but I got a wonderful son out of the deal.  My second marriage is great! We’ve been together for 21 awesome years – married 19 of those.

When I was in my late 20’s I decided to go back to school to get a degree in Speech Language Pathology.  It was a marvelous career.  I’m still a therapist but only practice now and then.  It was being a therapist that I learned how the brain works.  This will be a big part of my initial blogs.

Though I have an awesome husband, son, granddaughter and had a great career, I have suffered from low grade depression for as long as I can remember.  I really can’t complain, I’ve had a fairly good life, but there was always an undercurrent of sadness, insecurity and self-consciousness that hovered over me.  I never really felt comfortable in my own skin which led to unhealthy thinking, often ruminating on negative and toxic thoughts – “woe is me” type of thoughts.  As most of you know, nothing good comes from a self-absorbed, pity-me, down-in-the-dumps mentality.  Over the years I developed a habit of toxic thinking.

Sad to say, I carried this into middle age.  But it’s true.  I got to the point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I went to therapy, which helped, but didn’t completely cure me of negative thinking.  I bought umpteen self-help, spiritual and many other types of books to fix me.  They were also of some help, but those undercurrents of sadness and depression continued to loom over me.  I never really felt that I fit in, though I knew the right social things to say and do.  It’s funny because many people thought I had the perfect life.  Little did they know that inside of me was an insecure person who wished could connect with others in a more real and sincere way.

One day I decided to understand the anatomy of a thought.  I had had enough.  I needed to understand why in the world I couldn’t move out of this dreary space.  It’s been a long journey, one that is still in progress.  But I have to say that I love it (the journey) and looking back on my life, I am grateful for the challenge of turning my thinking around.  Why? Because it all brought me closer to God, a place where I find daily comfort, peace, courage and more.

I bought several books like Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind, by Dr. Joe Dispenza; The Brain that Changes Itself, by Dr. Norman Doidge; Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One, by Dr. Joe Dispenza; Who Switched Off My Brain: Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions, by Dr. Caroline Leaf and more.  I just didn’t read books, I also read articles, listened to TED Talks and the list goes on.  In addition, I’ve soul searched using the Bible.  I am a Christian.  I’ve gone full circle with secular research and back to God, who I now fully rely on.  There was a time when I stopped going to church for almost two years.  But that’s another story.

Some of you may click me off because God is brought into the discussion.  I hope you don’t, but if you do that’s okay.  This is where I am and there’s no turning back.  I have finally found peace of mind and wouldn’t trade it for anything.  What I’ve learned about the brain and how it was marvelously designed helped me over a great hump, but that in itself couldn’t keep me there.  The brain really is a marvel.  There has to be a bigger brain behind our smaller brains.  There is – God.  Call Him what you like, but there is a higher source.  Man could never design anything so spectacular.

So science gave me some of the nuts and bolts of how we work, but God gives me what I need to live on a daily basis.  Science may have figured some things out, for which I am grateful, but it’s God who designed it all and sustains me-us.  We are truly marvelous creatures – with a brilliant design for function and purpose on this earth.

I would like to briefly discuss some of God’s mighty handiwork – the brain.  I will start with neuroplasticity in my next blog, which will be following soon.

Thank you.  I hope this will be the beginning of a good and blessed relationship with you, my readers.  Life is good.  We’re only here for a short time.  Use your time wisely.  We’re here for a reason.  I believe it’s to bless one another and with that we need healthy thinking.  Everything begins with a thought.  Peace.  Out.